You know that saying that goes something like “don’t count your eggs before they hatch?” Well, I did just that! It’s just one drama after the other! I’m so frustrated…
I had a fantastic weekend at Aiden’s and a pleasant lunch at the Reeds. Roman finally decided to work with me and not against me. Gran got me a kitten (Lily) and Mum and I, at last, sorted things out. But I guess that man up there just can’t give me a rest! Or perhaps someone’s made an effigy of me and is doing some crazy voodoo shit! I mean seriously?! What did I do that was so bad to deserve this….I’m at a loss!
The day started off on an average note. Theo picked me up with Ellie for school. I hung out with her until the bell rang for the first period. Mr Nolan reminded us that our project is due in two weeks’ time. Mrs Humphrey, our Maths teacher gave us a spot test and then it happened; the thing that made everything go downhill…Let me make one thing straight before anyone’s judgemental honkers go off! Firstly, I am not a violent person. Secondly, I catch on nonsense but never at the expense of my reputation. And thirdly, I am NOT a liar or a cheater. I know that this is hearsay or whatever but it’s the truth. It’s my truth.
So, there we were writing our Math spot test and all of a sudden, Barbara (a.ka. Queen B), shrieked and pointed to the underside of my notebook. I immediately looked up in shock and then down at my book. It was a sheet of mathematical formulae and equations!!!
Okay, let’s just put things into perspective: I have no idea how that page got there but I suspect that Barbara slipped it onto my desk when no one was looking since she sits at the desk next to mine. And another thing is that, when I write, I rest my head on my hand, elbow on the table, while my right-hand writes, so I wouldn’t have seen her put it there because I was facing away from her. But you know how the story goes…no witnesses, no proof.
Mrs Humphrey completely freaked and sent me to the principal’s office immediately after shouting something about ‘dishonesty’ and ‘lack of integrity’ and ‘no respect for her subject,’ as I walked down the hallway to the office. She didn’t even give me a chance to defend myself before she instructed Barbara to accompany me there to make sure that I didn’t get “lost” along the way!
Of course, I was going to confront Barbara about it. After all, it could only be her. Who else would want me to get in trouble, or worse expelled? She just laughed and said “Oh well. You mess with me, you’ll get what you deserve.” I was obviously confused at that point as to what the bloody hell she was talking about because I’d never really interacted with her before now. When she noted the confusion on my face, she yanked on my hair and shoved me into the office door but not before I reacted unthinkingly by slapping her right cheek. Did it leave a mark? Yes. Did the principal exit his office in time to see that part? Why, of course. Did my mother get called in? Absolutely! And, dear Vodka, did I get suspended? Well, there’s no doubt about it!
Argh!!!! Just recounting the events infuriates me. Of course, Mum was furious and totally flabbergasted all at once but, in all fairness, I didn’t care at that moment. Barbara. I don’t even want her name in my book…
So, the result is that I’m suspended with no cell phone, no TV (even though I don’t care that much about it; it’s a load of consumerism and propaganda), no laptop and my Mum doesn’t want to speak to me. But at least it’s only in effect until Wednesday. Thank goodness for that because I cannot bear to not see the rustic blue doors to the entrance of our school and the overwhelming smell of bleach and floor polish, with the plethora of hormones and ubiquitous chatter. I know that the talk will be about me when I get back but, as the saying goes… “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
When Roman came over after school to start on the project, he said that Barbara and Aiden had a ‘thing’ and that he completely abandoned her when those terrible things started happening to him. According to Roman, Barbara was ‘a cool chick’ but now she’s simply obsessed with getting Aiden back (how cliché). I still couldn’t understand why she’d do something like that if hardly anyone knew about Aiden and mine’s friendship but then it clicked…Instagram! He probably still has her on there and to be honest, Aiden and the boys and I took loads of pictures on the weekend. That must’ve triggered it!
I just hope that my friends believe me and forgive me for reacting the way I did. Even I can’t excuse me slapping Barbara. I didn’t want to tell anyone that she called me ‘a lesbian slut.’ Frankly, I don’t even want to know how she came to that conclusion. I’ve put Lydia behind me; it’s in the past.
I’m seeing Sarah tomorrow…my therapist…I’m quite proud of how I’ve been dealing with the D&A (depression and anxiety) lately but I guess today’s events reminded me of how miserable I am and what a disappointment I can be. I know that it’s not true but that’s what depression does. I slipped two anti-depressants earlier. I shouldn’t have. I was making progress. I think I should use the landline to call Chloe. I really miss her…I need her ray of sunshine right now…