My life has come apart in a way that I never saw coming. 😦
I wish I was back home. I tried calling Adalind but her mother says she’s out with George for the evening. I can’t believe it. She swore she absolutely hated him!! Especially after he said he liked me but snogged Eve after the cricket game at school, infront of everybody and God and everything!
I thought that I would never be able to show my face at school again but then Monday came and I was back in class and no one cared about me anymore because it was Eve wearing the huge hickey in her neck like all her measels had congregated in one giant spot.
Mary wasn’t home either. She doesn’t respond to my text messages anymore. Her Skype is always showing offline when I’m pretty sure she’s behind her laptop to do homework and flash her boobs to David without leaving a digital trail for her parents to find.
I think I have to come to terms with the fact that I have no friends. It was predicted. My mother was right. Kill me now!
Last night I couldn’t sleep. I was online in a chatroom for high school pianists to share whatever. A cute guy who I’ve never seen there before asked me to send him a picture of my boobs. I laughed so hard I choked on my saliva and had a coughing fit because I barely have boobs. I look like a guy under my shirt. I suspect this guy with the perfect profile pic may have been a creep, and not an actual high schooler so I sent the screen shot to the administrator, and he has been blocked and flagged. So many weirdos out there. I don’t think I need to be a Criminal Minds victim to realise my life is in trouble.
At school Gabriel has been dropping notes into my locker with sheet music and improvements I’ve never seen done before. It really gets under my skin. Sometimes I feel the hair at the back of my neck stand up and then it’s Gabriel staring at me from behind a book and suddenly he would adjust his gaze or disappear into the crowds. Sara is always hanging around him. Sara is the school queen bee. Rumoured to have bullied Richard to the point of hopelessness. Apparently Richard is also rumoured to be madly inlove with Sara and she kept leading him on. She is also in the habit of then making out with Gabriel in places that Richard could see as to incentivise him. How is that behaviour not criminal? Sara is exactly the type of girlfriend people like Gabriel would have.
Everytime I find these notes in my locker I make sure to return them to sender. I don’t want to die at the hands of Sara, the local crazy cow.
It’s been the first day of the new week and the amount of surprise tests I’ve had to endure has been shocking. At least I am in the habit of daily revision otherwise I would be flunking out of every class and I can kiss anykind of busury to a good university good bye. At this point I would live at school and deal with the daily dramas of being a teen rather then be home and deal with the real world.
It’s quiet and weird. The house feels so empty without dad. I have been pottering around with my herb garden. It’s something I was inspired to do when I found a picture of my grand dad in the library. He loved gardening and playing the piano. He was a proud concert pianist but just before his big break debut he was in a terrible accident and the nerve damage to his right arm killed his dream. Can’t play at that level with a tremor but he had a beautiful garden. Dad says it’s where he found his bliss. It was his quiet away from the world. I’m sad when I think about grandad and dad and mom and Jack. I feel like sobbing because I am angry that the whole world is going to shit and it’s ruining my once perfect family.
Dad will call in half an hour. I need to get ready for bed because I am still not ready to talk to him. I just can’t deal with it. I can’t be okay with this like mom is. Dad has abandoned Jack and I. It’s unfair.