I’ve had a wonderful few days with Jack. I can’t believe how much work I’ve managed to do from home in the evening after Jack and Chloe are in bed. I’m thinking I should go back to negotiate working from home because I realised I can do it and I’m so much more relaxed being home. I think in just five days I’ve managed to find my centre.
Jack and I enjoyed mornings driving out and running around on Noordhoek beach and shopping and finger painting. I’ve framed some of them and put it up in the kitchen with a few beautiful photos I took of my baby while he just enjoyed himself in my company. It was really wonderful to listen to the mind of a five year old. I haven’t laughed so much in the longest time. Jack is so intelligent and he amazes me more everyday. I need to invest more time in Jack. He just needs my time. I’ve realised that now.
Last week Chloe left on a three day leadership adventure camp and Jack and I decided to redecorate and give it more of a grown up feel. It was time for the pink and purple bedding to go and I purchased a gold leaf daisy print wall paper and put it up against her feature wall. We found a beautiful sea blue paint and for the rest of the wall and changed her drawer knobs and door handles to gold. I even managed to find a beautiful small gold and glass chandelier at Mr Price home and put that up. I’m amazed at what I can do with a little skill and a lot of Youtube videos. The day before Chloe had left she had asked for cash to buy a few things for the camp and I offered to go with her and take Jack along. It was good because my little girl needed everything. Her body has been changing in my absence. I have to start being present for the family like I use to be. To achieve that I need to start living in the present and not in the future which is so easy with this whole digital marketing gig. That’s marketing. Living in the future all the time.
Now Chloe has beautiful white crisp linen on her bed and I’ve given the room a few gold, bronze and sea blue accents. I’ve done a little more shopping to fill her wardrobe but left those bags on the table. It’s her 16th birthday soon and I need to do something special. I want my daughter to start feeling like her life is more than just being a responsible older sister to Jack. Or more than just a daughter to Daniel and I. Chloe now needs to find her path in life and with our help I hope my daughter will be able to grow to the wonderful and successful young woman she was born to be. I would want Chloe to want the best for herself. To love herself so much that she knows exactly where she is going to go in life. If I don’t do much for the rest of her life I will strive to give her this one gift.
That’s my job as her mother.