Elle: When you stop for a moment

What a day I’ve had. What a week. And the bomb that Daniel drops that has me feeling like I’m not sure where I fit in anymore. Like I don’t know what to say. When as a wife you put out your ‘that’s nice dear’ card. What was I going to say?

Chloe has had her head buried in books while I ply her with tea and cinnamon buns. Just so that something goes in before she hits the sheets for two hours. It’s not the way to go about things but I’ve learned a very long time ago that we all have a process in getting things done. She completes her exams next week before it’s the Easter holidays and she will be performing a solo for the concert and her exam. She is being run ragged. I don’t know how she is doing it but I keep telling her how I think she is doing well. Because honestly I believe Chloe seems to be handling high school so much better than I ever did. I was absolutely miserable. It might have something to do with the friends she has made. They are two lovely girls. They were here to study on Thursday and I thought it would be a dishing session on boys and whatever else teenage girls get doing but when I walked in there with a tray of drinks for the girls I was surprised to walk in on a silent room with notes and mindmaps neatly piled around the girls.

I was silently impressed by their dedication and focus. Who does that? Chloe and friends. That’s who. I’m thinking I will arrange for them to have a day out after all this is over. They deserve a treat after the hard work they have put in. It’s important that they learn that life shouldn’t just be all about work but that there should be reward waiting at the end of it all.

On Daniel…

After leaving us here so that he could heal. He calls me up last night and tells me that he has found God and not in the Catholic way.  He is going to go on a pilgrimage after which he will come home. I asked him how long this pilgrimage was for and he said it apparently takes as long as it takes. I couldn’t do anything but tell him to have a good time or whatever this experience is going to be for him but that when May month rolls round I expect him back here for Chloe’s sweet sixteen.

I’m not sure with what he means that he has found God because he and I both believe in God and attend mass on Sundays and I use to be more involved in the activities of the church but since I started working I’ve had to resign from all the engagements I’ve enjoyed. Maybe Daniel has found his centre because I know I felt like I was serving a purpose doing what I was at the church.

At this point I think that anything that will help my Daniel come home sooner is a brilliant thing. So here I am with my glass of red wine curled up on my bed about to watch a boxset of Downton Abbey. I hear it’s brilliant.

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