School; has this way of taking over my life at times. It’s almost like every conversation that I have had during the past 10 weeks has been about school or college applications or university bursaries. It’s been exams and I had to really put my head down and focus. My June results was a bit of a train smash with the whole dad thing and so I silently watched mom shade a few different colours of disappointment before taking the most silent of deep breaths. Somehow she mentally talked herself out of freaking out at me about it. I think I would have preferred her crazy to the crazy calm. It was scary. I was just waiting for her to explode and bring it up but she never ever did. Never. I think I’ll possibly never forget this but if I do at least it’s here in this book to be forever a part of my history.
Since Gabriel got back from New York he has been the best boyfriend I could have possibly imagined. We kiss. We kiss a lot! He makes me giggle and gives me butterflies and calls me sexy. I must look like a loon but I can’t stop grinning. It’s embarrassing. We only get to see one another at school and on weekends. He is only allowed to come to our home we are not allowed to go over to his. Apparently, my parents feel that his parents have too liberal a world view, which makes my parents uncomfortable because they are raising a daughter. I’m not sure what that means and it just made Gabriel smile and kiss me which made me forget everything.
Dad hasn’t exactly forgiven Gabriel for disappearing when he went to New York. He doesn’t want me to think that there will never be another boy out there again and of course my dad is right but Gabriel is so different. He makes me feel so good about myself. I’m not just another girl when I’m with him. I’m sexy. I’m desirable. I’m beautiful. I’m interesting. I’m a complete loon. I like that I have all these different sides to myself suddenly. I don’t just want to let that go. What if this is it? What if no other boy made me feel like this ever again? I couldn’t bear to go back to the way I was living before.
So even though Gabriel and I aren’t officially a couple as he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend and thinks those ‘labels’ are part of an outdated practise, he has asked me not to kiss anyone else. He says it would kill him to the very depths of his soul. It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard anyone ever say to anyone ever!!
Mom says it sounds like something he would have read on Pinterest and so now I’m not speaking to her and I’m not going to dignify her jealousy with a search. She can be such a cow!