Ever since I found out that dad did not cheat on mom I’ve been working up the courage to apologise to dad but he’s making it impossible.
The night (he who shall not be named) and I followed my dad to the Cape Grace hotel, I was so sure dad was up to no good with the brunette hussy. I didn’t recognise my own mother as the femme fatale on his arm. She said she was going to aunt Janes’ after all.
It was cringe worthy when mom eventually sat me down because my comments where ‘out of order’ when directed at dad.
And then I went off in a fit of rage and had sex because it was the only thing I knew would be most likely to get to my dad. Probably why I regretted it straight after. I felt sick. I guess this is where I realise I didn’t really ‘love’ HIM as much as I thought. I really was just in ‘like’ with him.
I cried because I realised after all these months that I did it to myself. Snooping and assuming and spiting myself. Once dad realised my reasons for crying he stormed out and hasn’t spoken to me since.
Mom said she’s shocked. She thought I was smarter than that. Guess she was wrong then. I am definitely not smart enough to be running my own life. I make stupid, stupid choices. 😦