I keep paging through this journal every time I write a journal entry. I haven’t written even half a diary. Is that weird? Then suddenly in the space of two weeks, I have so much ‘life’ material it’s actually worth it.
It’s exams. I’ll ace it like I usually do. Not even stressed this time round. It’s the exact same subjects as last year but this year I don’t have as many friends or some delusional boyfriend to distract me. Of course, we need friends. And, I want friends. Charlie, seems like a good place to start but who wants to be friends with the girl whose heart almost gave in?
Since I’m not writing a paper tomorrow, and THE PARENTS and I made a deal to do be healthy together, things have turned around at home for me. On our last ‘date’ dad took me rock climbing at City Rock right here in Observatory! What a freaken rush that was. We go jogging every morning before school so I can ‘relax’ before I write. Everyone’s a psychologist in my life these days. So annoying. Anyway, since exams are basically over for me, (I just have my violin recital on Saturday) mum, Jack and I are off to Jump Around in Paarden Eiland today! It promises to get the heart pumping. I’m loving it.
If I felt safe enough to get back on my bike I would be doing that too but since the home invasions have been getting worse here in the Southern Suburbs we are all being extra careful. I feel like here is nothing left to fight for in South Africa. What kind of future could I have? Perhaps, we’d move back to Germany. Wouldn’t be the worse thing in the world other than the fact that there are terrorist attacks terrorising mainland Europe and nowhere is safe from a ‘potential’ attack.
This is what I love about this beautiful country. Here we all just get along. Here things seem to have worked. I know we have a dark past as a country but for a few years, I believe, we had a chance to be great. An African continent success story. Instead, with our current government, we are a failing state. Our government has forsaken the country they swore to protect. Instead of thriving, South Africa is failing. Even if this city isn’t technically governed by the leading party, it doesn’t feel like we are any better off than the rest of the country where the last Oncologist in public health just resigned his post. Shocker!
And adults are going to be all – you don’t know what you’re talking about child – but I do.
Anyway, with father’s day out of the way, that’s basically dad braaing meat and veg on a fire like a caveman while mum fusses about how wonderful he is for a day. Don’t get me wrong… I love my dad. Without him, I wouldn’t be here. Literally and figuratively. I know I can talk to him about everything that goes through my head – In theory. However, in practice, my mind is the barrier to everything that is wrong with my world.
I saw Charlie and Aiden on the weekend but I don’t know if she wanted me to tag along. They were acting all loved up which made my stomach turn a bit which is when I left them to it. Don’t know if I want to hang around Charlie if Aiden is around. I don’t think I’m strong enough to watch other people be in love or whatever…