Passed my mid year exams with satisfactory results. Not a full set of exemptions but I can only work harder. I’m so stressed out about my science project. I’ve been teamed up with Noah but he’s been MIA for a while. Little chip on the shoulder syndrome I think.
Little chip on the shoulder syndrome I think. And my insane lecturer says we just need to “figure it out”. Apparently, we aren’t going to be working with our best friends in the real world so this is a good practise run. Boys are the worse! Is this why married women turn Lesbian after a nasty divorce or something? If that’s the case I totally get it. Maybe I’ll become a nun. Save my dad.
We’re renting this little cottage that’s a five-minute walk from the beach. We have a massive apartment block in front of us which blocks our view. Guess that wasn’t explained to my parents because they took it in turns to shout at the landlord in broken Portuguese. As I understand it, the photos’ of the picturesque views were taken prior to the block of flats going up. The landlord has been falsely advertising ever since. You have to laugh at these first world problems. Anyway, we will be staying here for seven days instead of the 15 days we booked. The landlord has promised to reimburse dad for the other nights, therefore, we’ll be heading off to Germany for the remainder of our holidays.
I’m okay. Waiting on my results I ran a few laps around the tennis courts at school and do one hundred push ups in the loo. I might have started hiding most of my food at the bottom of the garden for a few days. It’s buried. It’s rotting and returning to the soil. Perhaps, I don’t need to tell anyone of the blip. It wasn’t more than that. Just nerves. Everyone is nervous before they get their results. It’s not really a big deal. I’ve got more room in clothes again which feels amazing! I managed to do that in just a few days!
Crap! I just read the above few lines and the interior monologue is starting again isn’t it. I’m not getting better, am I? But, if I keep eating the next seven days I’m here, three square meals and two snacks per day, I’m sure that by the time it’s my next session this will all be a distant memory. I won’t even remember.
Yes, I will.
I just realised this isn’t going to get any better. This isn’t going to go away because I am freaking out about Noah. If only Charlie was at our school I could ask her advice. It’s just weird now, talking to one another about people we will never know. I wish I could tell her everything but if I did she’d think I was a weirdo. I just want her to like me. I just wanted Noah to like me too. Thought I was helping him. Apparently, I can’t help anyone because I’m incapable of helping even myself.